How to Divorce a Narcissistic Spouse in California Without Losing Control of Your Case
July 9 . 1 min read
Divorcing a narcissistic spouse in California presents unique emotional and legal challenges. Individuals with narcissistic traits often exhibit manipulative behavior, thrive on conflict, and may attempt to delay proceedings or control the narrative. These tactics can turn a standard divorce into a high-conflict battle if not handled strategically.
At Feak & Revelo, LLP, our San Jose family law attorneys understand how emotionally exhausting these divorces can be and provide the experienced, steady representation necessary to keep your case on track. Our goal is to help you remain focused, protected, and in control throughout the process.
Document Everything and Establish Boundaries Early
When dealing with a narcissistic spouse, thorough documentation is key. These individuals often misrepresent facts, deny past agreements, or manipulate communication to achieve their goals. Maintaining a record of emails, texts, financial statements, and parenting interactions can serve as critical evidence.
Establishing firm boundaries from the outset—ideally through your attorney—can prevent unnecessary direct contact and reduce emotional manipulation. At Feak & Revelo, LLP, we often recommend that all communication be handled through legal counsel or in writing to limit conflict and preserve your mental well-being.
Expect Custody Disputes and Prepare Accordingly
Narcissists often view child custody as a battlefield for control rather than a discussion centered on the child’s best interests. They may use the children as leverage or attempt to paint themselves as the superior parent while discrediting the other.
California family courts prioritize the child’s well-being above all else. That’s why our attorneys work closely with clients to build clear, evidence-based parenting plans supported by documentation, witness testimony, and expert input when necessary. Our firm is especially committed to protecting children’s emotional health during high-conflict custody disputes.
Avoid Emotional Traps and Let Legal Strategy Lead
Narcissists often provoke emotional reactions to gain the upper hand or derail negotiations. While it’s natural to feel angry or frustrated, engaging emotionally can weaken your position or prolong the process.
Our San Jose family law attorneys help clients stay focused on the long-term outcome. We develop practical legal strategies to defuse emotional tactics and ensure that decisions are made with clarity and confidence. Our guidance helps clients resist the urge to retaliate or concede just to end the stress.
Work With a Legal Team That Knows the Terrain
A high-conflict divorce involving a narcissistic spouse requires more than just legal knowledge—it requires patience, awareness of personality dynamics, and firm advocacy. At Feak & Revelo, LLP, we have significant experience navigating cases involving psychological abuse, controlling behavior, and communication breakdowns.
We help our clients prepare for court hearings, mediation, and settlement negotiations to maintain control over both the process and the outcome. When necessary, we involve mental health professionals, financial experts, and parenting evaluators to strengthen your case and protect your interests.
Speak With Our San Jose Family Law Attorneys Today
If you are preparing to divorce a narcissistic spouse in California, you do not have to face the process alone. Our Santa Clara County attorneys at Feak & Revelo, LLP are here to support you with skill, compassion, and the tools necessary to maintain control of your case and your future. Contact us at (408) 501-8883 or online today to schedule a consultation.
Alexis helped me get through the worst time in my life and I was very grateful to have her as my attorney. She has a very approachable personality which made me feel relaxed and comfortable. Not only is she very bright, but she also genuinely cared about my case. She was always very responsive and engaged. I highly recommend her and I could not have asked for a better attorney.
Michael
I just want to say how much I appreciate Alexis and all she has done for me over the year. It felt like it was never going to end, but I'm so happy this is now finally closed out and I can move on with my life. I can't imagine having survived it without you!
Thomas
Samantha Feak was my attorney and she worked her butt off for me! I am proud to say that as of today I am finally divorced, and I couldn't have done it without her. She fought for me when I felt like I didn't have the strength to fight for myself any more, and she got it done. She made sure my divorce included a much needed restraining order to keep me safe from the physical and emotional abuse, and harassment from my ex husband. I cried tears of happiness when I got the call this morning it was finally
Natalie
I am thankful for Samantha, she is so calm yet impactful whereas I felt totally overwhelmed. I admire her abilities, and I’m very thankful for guidance in court.
Renee
Alexis was an amazing attorney in my divorce case. I had a highly litigated and contested case. She has been in my corner since the beginning, and assisted me every step of the way. I could not imagine what my situation would be like if Alexis was not leading the ship!
Ally
Samantha is the best thing to happen to my daughter and I. She helped me understand the crazy tactics of my ex and helped the court understand why I needed custody of my daughter. I am so lucky to have her as my lawyer.
Emil
Attorney Revelo is professional, thorough, and smart. She understands all the nuances of the law regarding Divorce and Separation and I am grateful she took my case. She is efficient and caring all at once. I was able to get my divorce finalized in a little over six months. She made a court date and personally oversaw the final judgement. She is trustworthy, fair, and ultra-competent. I would recommend her to anyone seeking a divorce or separation. Attorney Revelo embodies excellence in her field of law.
Rosella
From the very beginning of reaching out for a consultation I have felt so at ease, the response back from everyone is so fast and relieving. Alexis Revelo has been by my side every step of my case, I cannot say enough positive things about Alexis!! Her knowledge and compassion has made this stressful time for me a lot more manageable.
Melissa
Samantha was great to work with on my case. Her attention to detail and legal advice every step in the process helped considerably in the final six months of my case.
Brett
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